“Who killed CHIVALRY? …/they need to get their sentencing!”
-Graham
As I listened to a song a few days ago the lyric above STUCK out to me and drew my attention to a thinking and theory I had once had but long forgotten. I have heard many women say -’CHIVALRY IS DEAD!’- well I say good ridden …in fact I’m glad he dead and even if he was resurrected I’d pull the trigger again!!….Why so harsh you say? …LET ME EXPLAIN:
When looking for definitions for CHIVALRY one of the most common was :
courteous behaviour, esp. towards women
The idea behind it all came about in the Medieval Ages,where the qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry were highly regarded ,especially towards women. It was the hallmark of a true knight to help and render his services to those who were weak and in need of aid.
Here are some of the virtues a Knight lived by in those times:
• Generosity – in medieval terms, a generous Knight displayed a noble spirit.
• Courage – refers to a Knight’s ability to confront fear, pain or uncertainty. A modern Knight would display courage by banishing fears of rejection
• Humility – an honored knight was required to be modest and humble .While an arrogant Knight fell out of favour with the King and was treated like an outcast.
• Hope – traditionally believed to be a spiritual gift, modern Knights maintained hope at all times.
Honour - is the keystone to a Knight’s success whether guarding the honour of fellow Knights, or fighting for that of his lady.
• Trustworthiness – in matters of the heart, a modern Knight would always inspire trust from his lady
• Integrity – a genuine Knight must be well acquainted with honesty and truthfulness in order to maintain the trust and respect of fellow Knights
Now fast forward into modern-day society,the notion of chivalry behaviour has been passed onto women from generation to generation as an expected practice by all men .Now men may not be slaying dragons and climbing up stone-walled towers to rescue their fair lady ,instead it has morphed into such chivalry behaviour as:
-Opening Doors
-Paying for meals
-Carrying items for women
-Dropping them to their doorsteps
These and many other practices are evidence of a man who have mastered the art of chivalry ,practices that I NO DOUBT agree with but at the same time I have a few qualms with.
CHIVALRY in all its glory subconsciously creates a built up expectation in the minds of both men and women of how best to ‘ACT’ in a dating or relationship situation.When both meet for the first time ,women are expectant from their Medieval heritage experience to be treated with the utmost of courtesy and care as fair lady’s of the castle.However this can create a problem- a problem I call ‘CHIVALRY LOVE’
Now it’s great to treat omen with respect and courtesy but CHIVALRY LOVE ,seems to taint and distort honest love with making it conditional …let me go deeper.
When a gentleman opens the door for a women out of CHIVALRY he may aswell not open the door at all,because if chivalry did not exist and the thought of it scoring brownie points with the lady in question wasn’t there-the question would be -’Would he have opened that door out of the goodness of his heart?’
If Chivalry didnt dictate that a man picks up the bill,the question is would a man pick up the bill regardless?
If on a cold walk by the lake a man offers his coat to a woman knowing full well that this is a practice of chivalry that will impress the woman -should he even bother at all if it did not come from a sincere desire to see her warm?
The point im getting at is CHIVALRY is part and parcel of the dating game.It is a tool used to impress and paint a picture of what a woman can expect in the future. It is a tool used to paint a false impression of care and courtesy that when given another 8 months is likely to fade away because it was not grounded in authenticity.
So I say I HOPE CHIVALRY IS DEAD ! …so that real LOVE can have a chance to live …and what is real LOVE?
LOVE IS : 1 CORINTHIANS 13
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.8Love never fails.
CHIVALRY need not exist if we do things from a motive of love outlined above.If LOVE is kind it will see a WOMAN or MAN struggling with heavy bags and run to help.If love is not self self-seeking ,when a man or woman seeks to enter through a door or enter a queue ,LOVE will beckon that they go first or that the door be held for them.LOVE will offer to pay for a meal not to gain brownie points,but out of a desire to treat another person ,to another person smile and better off than ones self. When LOVE is the motive the notion behind CHIVALRY is not exclusively rendered to women alone but encompasses ALL HUMAN BEINGS- it lies and finds its foundation in the simple principle that says:
James 2:8 (New American Standard Bible)
8 YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF,”CHIVALRY R.I.P
Until I Type Again …..
